I would question him and ask why he thinks your sexual kinks make you any less of a supporter of social equality. Any Dominant that doesn’t understand that feminism and submission can equally coincide in a person really worries me because it makes me wonder why they think I’m submitting if it doesn’t empower me and make me happy. Dominance and submission is very much a game, as much as it can be a lifestyle. Submissives do not consider themselves less of a person for submitting, but because taking on that role makes them happy.
Explain to him that your sexuality is a source of empowerment for you, and that your sexual desires do not negate your stance on feminism. You are giving him the opportunity to live out fantasies with you—you are not saying that you are of less worth than him. If he doesn’t understand that, I would see that as a huge red flag.
Yes! People really need to learn this.